A Common Problem With Children

A Common Problem With Children

A Common Problem With Children
Looking back at it, the story I am about to tell is funny. But during the months of the "problem", it was very frustrating. Please do keep in mind that if you are suffering a similar fate - take heart, because it truly is a common problem. In order to protect the child who had the problem, he will go unnamed . . .
Maxwell was about 16 months old when the problem first started. I was in the office working on the computer one afternoon when I heard my wife shout out, "Honey, come quick!" So I ran into the living room where my son stood, smiling, hands outstretched and clutching a brown substance. It was like watching the scene in slow motion as he squeezed what I surmised (from the smell) was fresh poop through his fingers and onto the rug. What made it more horrific was the fact that we had just bought the $200 rug the day before.
So we thought it was just a fluke occurrence, right? Several days later came the midnight madness. I was slowly falling asleep when a slight pungent odor commanded my attention. I looked over to my sleeping wife, half wishing she had just released a little excess gas. Realizing it was not the case, I walked over towards the nursery, where the smell became a good deal worse. Looking in, there was the unnamed child (Maxwell), painting the rails of his crib with fresh excrement. It took several hours to clean the mess, and after that, I was determined that it would never happen again.
The next day, the unnamed boy - Max - approached me and offered me what I thought was a peace offering. He dropped the small, spherical object into my hand as he smiled warmly. "Ahhh, a chocolate malt ball", I thought to myself. Well, it wasn't, but apparently Max did take a bite out of the hardened poop ball! To be sure, I had to smell his mouth - suspicion confirmed!
The solution to the problem was to have our son wear long pants until the problem resolved itself. After about three months, he no longer tried to reach into his diaper for that most interesting brown substance. So looking back now, I can smile, write funny onesies about it, and inform you that you should not worry if it happens to you. Nothing has happened in months now, but Max still wears long pants!
Steven M. Pomeroy
Creator of Funny Onesies
http://www.funnyonesies.net